And the mood is…
Silver. A simple word for a feeling that is far from simple. It is fluid…
transitional. It is hopeful clouds and movement into a new phase of life. It
shimmers, and it also hides layer behind layer. It is silence. It is a
symphony. It is leaves blowing in a warm breeze at night. It is the sun
splintering against a cobweb over glass. It is my Crayola Colour Mood of today.
It has been a
time of change again, so I hope you will forgive my lack of contact. Life has
presented me with another challenge, another change. One that I knew was
coming. One that was inevitable, and sensible. But that did not make it any
easier to endure.
Through the
worst, now, I find myself with time to actually sit at a computer, and think,
and type, and remember that the world is still out there, waiting for me to
return to it. Through the worst, now, I am almost ready to face it all again.
I just moved
house, leaving behind an apartment I have loved dearly for the last half a
decade. I knew at some point I would have to leave; it was far from perfect and
over time has become less and less the peaceful haven it began (being on the
edge of a building site did not help) as it underwent the unfortunate transformation
– in all but name – into a building mostly populated by young, wealthy, noisy, students,
who exhibit no social skills, observe no social niceties, and evidently have no
idea how to use a bin chute, or worse, perhaps believe it is beneath them to
clear up after themselves.
It was time to move on. Perhaps for the first time I
begin to acknowledge my aging, and perhaps even accept it, a little.
I have spent the
last few weeks dining out, lunching, drinking and generally over indulging, in
between working too hard at the day job and enormous amounts of packing and
condensing life at home. It has not been an easy time and I am now taking a holiday, to recover in a place that always brings me peace.
They say moving
house is one of the most stressful things in life. I’ve lost 8lbs in two weeks,
whilst doing all of that over indulging. I’d say they’re right about the stress
thing.
But there is the
silver lining and the reason for my Crayola Colour Mood. When life takes a turn
and it is not necessarily the one you know you wanted – although it is most
likely the best one for you, as you will come to realise in time – it has its
bitter elements and its upheaval, but it also has its rewards. Take them where
you can get them. Take your time of silence and reflection. Take your time to
digest and respond. Then carry on with the new chapter, wrapped in a haze of
simple, complex Silver.
Elloise Hopkins.
