I have issues with newspapers. I
really do. I’m not talking about content here, although I have issues with that
too. You would be hard pressed to get me voluntarily into a discussion that had
anything to do with news, politics or this modern day celebrity obsession or
the other countless day to day items that upset me. I’m talking about the
actual, physical qualities of newspapers.
First of all I have issues with the
size and total logistical impracticality of them. I mean, yes, there is a lot
of content there, and I’m sure originally there was a very good reason for them
being so huge. But is it really necessary? There is nothing worse on a long
train journey during a busy commute than being constantly elbowed by someone
reading a newspaper next to you and having the flapping corners drifting over
to block the view of your own sensible-sized reading material.
And secondly I can’t stand the
texture. Bizarre I know for someone that reads multiple novels a week. But have
you ever picked up a wooden spoon when it is slightly damp and felt that
uncomfortable and unnatural cringing sensation rush over your body? Well the
same principle applies to newspaper. Try touching newspaper when it has become
damp by rain or if you have wet hands or even when your hands are bone dry, and
I suspect you will feel as disgusted as I do by it. There must be a modern
solution!
Yes, ok so this is just a
commentary, a rant, a moan. Call it what you like, depending on your own
thoughts on newspapers. Today it is newspapers that are taking the brunt of my
groaning. Bah.
Elloise Hopkins.
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