We are
continually told in life that bottling things up and keeping our feelings
inside is not emotionally healthy. But one of the greatest challenges in life
is to take advice and on this score I just can’t.
I’ve never been
one to broadcast my innermost feelings to the world (the occasional blogs,
tweets and rants aside) and I’m not sure that will ever change. When I feel sad
or miserable or depressed the last thing I want to do is inflict that on
someone else and make them feel sad or miserable or depressed too.
Misery loves
company? Well, not me. I like to be left alone with my misery until I’m ready
to emerge from the other side of it. The thought of entering into discussions with
other people about why I feel that way is not something that occurs to me, and
honestly the idea of it feels pointless. They can’t change the way I feel
inside, so how can it possibly help?
To some people
that will sound totally logical. To others it will sound stupid and ridiculous.
But I like to imagine negative feelings as messages in a bottle. I can write
them, then bottle them up and send them off elsewhere. After all, I don’t need
them.
So when I am
quiet and reflective, when you can tell that I’m isolated inside myself, it is
because I am writing out those messages, processing them, reflecting upon them,
and then rolling them up and letting them go. Because what possible use can it
be to dwell on bad things forever and anon? Leave me to my misery. I always
emerge soon enough.
Elloise Hopkins.
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