I want to be…

A Transformer. No really, I want to be a Transformer. And I’m talking about the original, retro Transformers. I loved these as a kid and the feeling has never gone away. I want to have cool sound bytes accompanying my every movement. I want to be able to change into a plane/car/hovercraft whenever the need arises and zoom from place to place with ease. Unless of course someone actually does invent a teleporter and then the need to be a Transformer will be somewhat negated.

I’m not sure which one I would choose. Starscream is brilliant but I couldn’t live with hearing my own screechy voice every day. Jazz was always very cool but I’m not sure a white Porsche is really my style. Bumblebee is yellow, which has never been a good colour on me. Optimus Prime, well a huge truck wouldn’t be the most convenient method of transportation. As a hovercraft, Seaspray was excellently styled but that may prove difficult for suburban roads. So that leaves me with…

Wheeljack. Sometimes a bumbling inventor, hailed as the fantastical mad scientist ready with the right gadget to save the day – except they usually caused more damage than they stopped. But he looks very cool and I do have a long-term ambition to make geek chic. Yes ok so they killed him off in the movie but I’m choosing to ignore his lack of immortality. He’s still a Transformer and he’s still cool.

Elloise Hopkins.