A Tag Rugby weekend in Dublin.
1) Take full advantage of airport whisky samples at 7am (purely for medicinal purposes you understand). Getting into the spirit: 10 points.
2) Take taxi from airport to hotel, driven by a man who openly swears at couriers and reads a map as he drives. Comedy value: 25 points.
3) Stay in hotel with interconnecting rooms and spend the whole time going from room to room conversing with new people. Team bonding: 30 points.
4) Take full advantage of Guinness-by-room-service and pretend to be living the high life. Pure indulgence: 40 points.
5) Drink copious amounts of warm Prosecco disguised as champagne and follow up with lager and clubbing the night before the match. Good behaviour: -15 points.
6) Wake up with hangover, eat too much salty bacon, get ready in slow motion and arrive at the ground late. Good behaviour: -25 points.
7) Cure hangover by playing rugby in the rain for a few hours, and avoid the wooden spoon by winning the last match. Team bonding: 30 points.
8) Use Guinness to numb the aches, watch the day’s video footage, enjoy a barbecue, have a giggling fit and watch a dance off. Comedy value: 50 points.
9) Get presented with a trophy and take team photos in silly poses. Laugh, drink champagne and finish the night off in style. Pure indulgence: 30 points.
10) Say goodbye to Dublin and return home without injury, having avoided committing social suicide or alienation by colleagues. Survival: invaluable.
Elloise Hopkins.
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